Teach a Man to Fish

I've always prided myself on my ability to differentiate between instruction and indoctrination from professors that probably have a different take on life than I do. This semester, however, I've second guessed my critical thinking skills time and time again, and specifically in my Critical Approaches to Teaching, my new realizations are enough to set me back in my mission to become a secondary ed teacher.

I decided I wanted to be an English teacher my sophomore year of high school when I realized, through my teacher at the time, that the classroom doesn't have to be cliche. Things could be unique and fun, and creativity could be explored right along with the standards initiated by the state and district. Because I was already a big fan of school, I decided that I wanted to share my love for the English language with students in a fun and creative way. Over the next six years I changed my mind several times thinking perhaps teaching wasn't for me, but ultimately I decided it was the field I needed to explore. Today, however, all the ideas we've explored in my Teaching class culminated into one big confusing mass of doubt.

The only experience I have to feed off of is GATE and AP classes. I took four college prep classes in high school, all electives or non-core classes: two years of PE, Spanish 1, and Physics (also things like band and yearbook). I was the student that studied 15 minutes before the test, never read the book, and barely struggled in my four years. By simply going to class, doing the homework, following the rules, and being the "obedient" student, I received the number 1 position in my class ranking. High school wasn't a breeze, and I did spend many hours completing nearly every homework assignment, but for the most part I found little struggles.

I also came from a very solid family background. My parents celebrated 27 years of marriage this past September, and though our house certainly wasn't anywhere near the Cleavers', we were generally happy. My father made every effort to guide my sister and I down a path he deemed most successful, and we were constantly supported and encouraged at home. They also made sure to teach my sister and I all about the ethic and moral implications in life as well as instill a firm foundation in our Christian faith. They prepared us for college and our future career and encouraged us to do the best we could each and every day.

I say all this because I never had to utilize my administrators and teachers for anything other than the subject material in class. (This obviously excludes relationships built with my band teacher, Bible club adviser, or Academic Decathlon coach as those invited more personal settings than just the student-teacher environment.) A teacher never looked at me as a concern for emotional or family struggle; I had very few external conflicts affecting my educational experience. Because of this, I know very little about what all a teacher is capable of in the classroom. I don't think of it as a position to change lives outside of the white board and textbook. I'm struggling severely to see it as a broad responsibility and a thoroughly engrossing occupation.

I want to teach. I do. I want to show those 12-year-olds how important it is to develop good writing skills and have fun discussing those short novels and all the fun parts of junior high language arts. I don't know. Honestly, I think it'll all work out, and with time, I'll adjust and learn to help each student with each obstacle they face in and out of the classroom. I guess today's class discussion simply raised the question: does the best student make the best teacher?

We'll see how teacher education and actual classroom experience pans out. I'm not giving up; I'm just trying to do be open to all the position holds.